My sister and I had a small argument about something so petty. You know those situations where something small snowballs into something so big that you get drowned by it. That’s where I am. I dropped my review and board exam after my Father’s death and I have been trying to get to learn about myself during this time. It’s exactly 11 months since my Dad has passed and I feel useless. As if a sign, I chanced upon this Live Video Streaming of one YouTube Reactor I’m following and in that he was talking with another friend about Missed Opportunities. And Maybe, I should stop making excuses and grab opportunities. Be brave and take on bigger things. I have locked myself in our home, in our community, I did do try once in awhile to go out and try new things, actually I’ve done more of those this year than I ever had but I think my soul yearns for more. I’d want to backpack the 81 provinces of my country, video interviews of various people in various profession, send a Introductory Video to this Malaysian-based company, learn photography, continue with my painting and sketching. I know I’m the only one stopping myself from doing all these. All me. The point, the end point of this small petty argument is I am not happy with myself and what I am currently, in an overall perspective. I am frustrated of the agreements I have broken, of the friendships I didn’t make, the invitations I didn’t take.
But I’m glad I realised all these before it became too late. I think my time of dependence is almost over and I need to learn to be independent. I think everything is preparing me for that lesson. And it scares me, it is sometimes inevitable to leave the people I depended on for two decades of my life to learn this lesson. But I hope that whatever and wherever I go they’ll understand that I need to learn this so I could be the person has destined me to be. I hope I don’t lose my way on this journey.
LAUREN AQUILINA – IRRELEVANT
LEWIS WATSON – SINK OR SWIM
My Life is a Journey 